#the person i would become
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(Same anon who talked about having a Jewish friend)
Actually, I've already seen a bunch of the video explanations and looked things up before sending the last ask in, and yeah, I'm pretty convinced the Palestinians got a raw deal. It looks like the British came in, took over Palestine, then decided to kill two birds with one stone and try to move all the Jews out of their country and into the area they were trying to establish as Israel, while intimidating or outright forcing Palestinians into leaving their own homes in order to make room.
And then after repelling the attack from all the surrounding countries trying to get rid of Israel (which yeah, that uh. That would also have led to a massive tragedy), Israel took over a bunch of territory beyond what they'd been assigned (without any Palestinian input whatsoever), and claimed it as spoils of war or something. And it's occupied areas even beyond that, and regularly bombed Gaza like. A Lot.
Honestly, my biggest source of difficulty is that, well. I DO know people who are Jewish and have family in Israel, and are pro-Israel and arguing all the usual Israeli talking points, and are scared right now. And I can't really say that they shouldn't be afraid for themselves and their friends and family either, even though from what I've seen with my research, Palestinians seem to have been dealt a rawer hand. I'm not sure what to say to them, except generally adopting one of the more neutral stances that focuses on the horrors this conflict has inflicted on everyone involved, like what Rick Riordan said in a recent blog post.
I am also quite aware that when anyone, myself included, tries to speak about this issue, the reader is waiting to pounce, thinking, “Yes, but whose side are you on?” That is exactly the wrong question. If there are two sides to this issue, those sides are not Palestinian/Israeli or Muslim/Jewish. The two sides are humanitarian and dehumanizing. Dehumanizing has a long evil history. It is appealing and easy to buy into, because humans are tribal animals. We are hardwired to think in terms of ‘us’ versus ‘them.’ We are the real humans, the good guys, the ones with God on our side. Those other people are evil monsters who don’t deserve empathy. Hate mongers have thrived on dehumanizing for as long as there have been humans. It provides them with a purpose, a way to rally support, power, and scapegoats. It is easy to point to atrocities committed by our enemies, while justifying or minimizing the atrocities committed by ourselves or our allies.
Humanitarianism is a much harder sell. It requires us to empathize, to see other groups of people as equally deserving of dignity and quality of life. It requires not always putting ourselves and our needs first. But in the long run, humanitarianism is our only hope. If violence could end violence, if we could put an end to “those other people” once and for all, human history would read very differently than it does.
So yes, I am appalled by the Hamas attacks on Israeli civilians. I am appalled by the suffering of Palestinian civilians in Gaza. Both things can be true. Both things must be true. My thoughts are with all the people who have died, who have lost loved ones, who have had their worlds and their lives shattered, especially the children. More death and violence will not break this cycle, which has been going on for generations. There is no military solution. Even since I first wrote the post, only twenty-four hours ago, the Israeli government’s brutal retaliation against the entire population of Gaza has reached genocidal proportions. This is not only an atrocity. It is folly. Answering misery with misery only creates more fertile ground for extremism, dehumanizing the “other side,” letting hate mongers thrive, stay in power, and reduce us all to our most monstrous impulses. The only real solution is treating each other like equally worthy human beings, and negotiating a peace that allows all parties a chance to live in security and dignity, with hopes for a future that does not include bombs and rockets and gunfire. This means security and support for Israel, yes. It also means a secure Palestine which is allowed to get the international aid and recognition it needs to build a viable state.
Do I think that will happen? Unfortunately, no. Humans are simply too selfish, too ready to blame “the other” for all their problems, too ready to dehumanize, though I also believe, perhaps paradoxically, that most people just want to live their lives in peace and have a chance for their children to have a brighter future. The problem is when we don’t allow other people to have those same hopes and dreams — when it becomes a false choice of us versus them.
What can I do? I will continue to write books that I hope will give young readers some joy. I will resist the urge to demonize entire groups of people. I will call for less violence, not more violence. And when asked whose side I am on, I will tell you I am on the side of humanitarianism.
I'm not sure whether you have a better stance to take when it comes to talking to friends who have close ties to the Israeli side of this conflict, who are afraid for themselves and their family. Because I can't say they're wrong to be afraid and upset, but also there needs to be recognition of what Palestinians have gone through as well. I'm not sure whether you have Jewish friends who support Israel who you've talked about this with, but if you do, how do you handle that?
To be frank, I wish I had the answers for your question but I don't right now. The majority of people in my life are either Pro-Palestine or refuse to talk about the situation saying it's too stressful, which is its own frustration and which I push back on by still talking about it.
The people in my life that are Pro-Israel are at work, which is difficult considering the ethics in this situation are all over the place. How do I support an Israeli client calling for the genocide of an entire race? How do I, as their therapist, validate something that I find so morally repugnant I feel sick to my stomach before every session. How do I deal with working at an organization devoted to helping kids with their mental health when right now one of the most traumatic incidences the world has ever seen is happening right this second?
My workplace has apparently chosen silence and not talking about any of this as its strategy, and I don't know how to navigate it. Do I leave my job and the kids I work with to uphold my morals? Do I stay to help the kids I wanted to support even though they support something I fine reprehensible? Do I ignore it like my workplace does and stay for the kids I can help, where I comparmentalize everything thats been happening so I can help them even though their problems are so small? Do I stay even though every second of silence and refusal to recognize the very real genocide happening right now kills me every single day? I haven't worked it out yet. I don't know how to balance psychology ethics with my own ethics, and I think that's it's own issue.
So I don't have the answers here. I'm much better talking about these things online than I am in person. I have a better reach online than I do in person, which is why I do it so much here. If I had to confront a Pro-Israeli family/friend I know myself and I know I would cry and get angry and I don't know what I would do after that.
So for that, I'd say you're doing better than I am Anon.
Something I have considered though is where do I draw the line for what makes someone a friend or person I want to keep in my life.
And to me, a South Asian woman with an Arabic name from a Muslim family who grew up under the shadow of Post-9/11 Islamophobia in NYC and has devoted her life to working with kids who have trauma, depression, and anxiety, I think I am justified in taking it personally and with great offence if someone is saying the genocide of people I relate to heavily is okay. I think I as a person as a human being can draw the line when I need to.
And I think what gets me is I will talk about it. I refuse to stop.
#not tagging cause too much personal info here sdjkhfdsjkg#i wish i had better answers anon#i dont i feel stuck every day i feel like quitting every day i dont know what to do#and so i guess in that i hope at the very least you take comfort in knowing you aren't alone#but again the best way i've figured out i can help is to talk about this for as long as i can because if i stop i dont think i'd like#the person i would become#also anon ask me this question again after thanksgiving cause im sure that will be a big one#Anonymous#asked and answered
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It'd be so embarrassing to join a group after trying to kill their members and losing
#hardcore fighting hoyo outfit design to get this out there before it becomes outdated 🤭#but i do like hearing ppl argue about which faction sunday should join#i personally think he should join none of them haha#his callous manipulation would make him good in any group. which makes him perfect for no group#but what do i know#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#hsr firefly#hsr stelle#hsr welt#hsr march 7th#hsr dan heng#hsr himeko#hsr aventurine#hsr#neapart
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always a fun time when real life people are doomed by their own narratives. like guys you know it doesn’t have to be like this right? this isn’t a stageplay the foreshadowing isn’t real until you make it real
#what do roman senators rock stars and real pirates have in common#i would love to write a magical realism psychological horror movie about a up-and-coming celebrity#in which the premise is that the more and more you garner a parasocial following#(i.e.#the more and more you are treated like a character instead of a real person)#the more you become subject to the rules of fiction and thus narrative fate#and the protagonist slowly but surely realizes that by becoming famous they’ve sold away their own ontology#//#god. i need to find that sexy quote from pete townshend about how the music industry is perpetuated on human sacrifice
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Tim Drake Accidentally Takes Over the World (and Didn’t Think to Mention It)
So, Janet somehow spent decades climbing her way into every government worth a damn, ruling the entire world from behind the scenes. And then, because the universe is apparently wild, she left it all to Tim.
Cut to Tim Drake, the brand-new, completely reluctant secret ruler of the entire planet. And he just… never really thought it was worth mentioning?
The Batfam finds out when Bruce stumbles across an encrypted memo traced to a mysterious Gotham office with Tim’s name on it.
Bruce, holding up the memo: “Tim. Want to explain why this document about, oh, international finance reforms is signed with your encryption key?”
Tim, not even looking up from his laptop: “Oh, yeah. That. Janet left me her ‘global influence portfolio’ or whatever. Mostly paperwork.”
The Batfam stares in total shock.
Dick sputters nearly dropping his coffee: "Wait—you’ve been managing world policies?!”
Tim, shrugging, barely paying attention as he emails the president of Germany: “Well, yeah. I figured someone had to keep things running. It's not that big a deal. I mostly just redirect some policies. You know, keep things running smoothly.”
Jason, absolutely cackling: “Are you telling me that little Replacement here is the reason for half the ‘global cooperation’ headlines?”
Tim, scrolling through emails: “They send me reports; I send suggestions. And honestly, they make it way more dramatic than it is. It's not that hard."
Barbara stares at him, half horrified, half impressed. “How did we not notice this?”
Tim blinks. “I mean, it’s not like I was actively hiding it. I assumed you guys knew I was… kind of managing these things?”
Cue utter disbelief.
Stephanie, laughing too hard to breathe: “Tim, do you have world leaders on speed dial?”
Tim, completely unfazed: “Only the important ones. They text, mostly. Oh—by the way, I might’ve influenced a minor arms control thing last week. Don’t worry; it’s all sorted.”
Bruce, looking like he’s two seconds from fainting: “Sorted? Tim, we're talking about you having global authority here. People notice these things."
Tim shrugs again as his phone buzzes with notifications. “Sure, but it’s not like they’re going to do anything too crazy. I just suggest stuff, and they listen. Honestly, it’s like herding really powerful, really overdramatic cats.”
Damian, scandalized: “You mean to tell me, Drake, that you’re manipulating world politics like it’s a game of checkers?”
Tim, still casual: “Manipulating’s a strong word. Like I said, it’s more just nudging things along.” His phone buzzes again. “Oh, hang on. France is panicking about their energy policy again.”
The Batfam tries to process the fact that Tim—Tim, who routinely forgets what day it is—is now, somehow, running the world.
And then his phone buzzes with a message from the UN Security Council.
Tim sighs, glancing down. “Oh, great. Looks like they’re debating nuclear arms again. Be right back.”
Meanwhile, the Batfam is left absolutely speechless, processing the fact that their Tim—scrawny, coffee-fueled Tim—is apparently one of the most powerful people on the planet. And to him its just another tuesday.
#tim drake#batfam#tim accidentally becomes the most influential person in the world and its not even his fault#janet was totally paranoid ant who knows what and knew she had to get herself involved with any politics she could#somehow this means she ends up becoming some kind of consultant that all the governments go to for any advice#tim just doesn't care because it means more paperwork for him#tim learned everything he knows from janet herself so when she dies they all do what she wrote in her will and go to her son instead#batfam in absolute disbelief#how did none of them realize?!#tbf i dont think its something anyone would realize unless they were out right told#tim drake ruling the world
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being an mcr fan is like fuck i need to become a better artist. i need to become a better artist. i need to become a better artist. i need to b
#i need to become a better artist#if i were a real person i would make art that means something mark my words
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"You're safe now, my darling" The knight rescued her precious princess from the evil Gabriel Agreste
=>>Reference that inspired this piece. :3 =>>Contact me through these socials if you like! <3
#miraculous ladybug#my stuff#sketch#miraculous fanart#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#adrinette#if I've known this would be blown up I could have added more lines into it but yeah... my bad huhu#adrienette#fairytale au#pencil art#art#oh my god guys this is the fastest note increasing I've ever gotten 😳#thank you all for the notes I really appreciate it 🥺😭✨😢#oh dear I just woke up and almost fainted seeing the note numbers lol#dang should have taken a little bit more time to polish it a little but still HUWWWAHH THANK YOU ALL#OH MY GOD FANDOM FIGURES LIKED THIS TOO!!??? MY HONOR AAAJAKQKQNDBDJD#btw I've always wanted to treat my future partner like this because “Love the right person and you will become their princess”
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Ik it doesn't align with canon but I do just see Keith as someone who if he is not doing kick flips in the Castle training room just conks out.
Like he eats his food, he does his missions, he does his probably 3-4 hour training a day and then he sits down and passes out snoring immediately.
And the problem with that is anytime someone needs to talk to him has to hope he didn't sit down on an excursion around the many layered and roomed castleship cause he could be asleep on a fucking rafter in the belly of the ship and it's gonna take them a solid couple hours to find him.
#i just think he is annoyingly sleepy person due to overworking himself so often and often finding very active excuses to not hang with ppl#and that this would become less of a problem when he finds a suitable response to his insomnia issues and lack of social interaction#he truly is a socially inclined dog who just has not been properly acclimatised to people and does zoomies till he sleeps and zoomies again#(also no this is not me projecting as someone wholl have insomnia for like 3 nights and then conk out for effectively 3 days)#keith#keith vld#vld keith#keith voltron#voltron keith#keith kogane#voltron#vld#voltron: legendary defender
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Wrapping up the season with a redraw (Jan 2024)!
Thank you all for these last 6 months, I have loved making so many people laugh from my silly comics B*)
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#laios touden#marcille donato#senshi#chilchuk tims#izutsumi#When I start my weekly dungeon Meshi posting#I never would have thought it would have pushed me to grow so much as an artist.#Nor that some of those comics would become some of the most popular things I've ever made!#I really did just want to start incorporating some more self-indulgent art into my week.#I love this series dearly and it has been a delight to be able to draw these characters and see so many new people learn to love them#Oh and don't get worried; I *will* still be drawing dungeon meshi fan art now-and-again.#I have a really cool thing to show off next Thursday!#I've been a fan for nearly a decade. This isn't a hyperfixation this is a part of my core personality.#This anime adaptation was beyond good. I'm so excited to see season two!
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Different ghost king outfits! (o^ ^o) Always adored the au as soon as I heard about it, but I never tried to design what it would look like until now! Left outfit is where I tried inverting Danny's usual ghost fit as jumping point, the middle is going ham with more a space/ecto theme, and the last is focusing more on Danny's ice core/powers! The middle's cape, hood, and ruffles near the belt-like bit are all pieces of void/portals, reaching through can pull out anything, and it can shrink or expand to his will!
#danny fenton#danny phantom#phanart#ghost king danny#ghost king au#danny phantom fanart#dp fanart#dp danny#i like to think considering how venomously against danny would be in actually being a ghost king or prince#the somewhat sentient jewerly and/or royal outfits would try being appealing to him by becoming space themed#since he does love space!#if you're wondering why he doesn't wear a crown in the other ones it's because I can hardly see him wearing one personally!#my art!#BEHOLD! an art tag for my art :]
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plotting out a mountain goats themed road trip what do y'all think
#the mountain goats#i am absolutely not the first person to have made this joke#but i was just listening to going to dallas last night and this thought occurred to me lol#this is only the going to songs available on spotify#i know there are other unreleased songs and stuff#but that would have become very messy and also would've made the playlist difficult lol#also please appreciate that it goes to lebanon twice
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Hey, man, we all can't be like you -- I wish we were all rose-colored too
{Rose-Colored Boy - Paramore}
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Smashing this song and my headcanon that Dash's dad is in the GIW together to make a fic Idea where the GIW finds out Danny's identity and tells on him to his parents in their hunt for phantom --
Dash's dad leads the operation, him and his team (along with the Fenton parents) cornering Danny after school while he's hiding/running away from Dash, forcing transform in order to get away; unbeknownst to either party, Dash witnesses everything and runs after Phantom to try and help.
Que the two stumbling into and getting trapped in the ghost zone in a confused scuffle while Danny's trying to escape, now on the run from three (3) parents and one (1) secret government organization.
- - - - - - - - - -
I kinda wanna use this premise to explore how Dash would progress through learning Phantom is Danny, and then (separately!) becoming a better person--
-- I think he'd be super annoying about it at first; idolizing Danny, pestering him a bunch about how cool it is to have ghost powers, generally acting way too close with him, and completely pushing aside how he treated Danny before the revelation.
Most of the situations we see Dash become friendly towards/respectful of Danny in-show are usually after Danny has shown himself to be physically strong/confident (see: Pirate Radio), and even then, Dash doesn't proceed to do any introspection at all and continues to bully him.
Conclusion: Learning Phantom = Danny would not be enough to trigger a redemption arc for Dash. This boy needs to learn some empathy.
Dash actively witnessing Danny having issues despite being powerful as Phantom (i.e. fearing and having to run from his parents, the toll fighting ghosts takes on his school/life/mental health, etc.), as well as being confronted with how privileged he is himself (having a loving, attentive family, being much better off financially, etc.) would force him into being more introspective.
Throw in him realizing the parallel between how the GIW treats Phantom with how he treats Danny (i.e. indiscriminate & unreasonable anger & violence), and -boom!- it clicks for him
#please listen to the song it's so good and fits the fic vibe immaculately#I just want my boy to genuinely become a better person#imo Dash will always prioritize Cool Strong Hero Phantom > Nerd Loser Fenton so just knowing danny is phantom would not be enough#bro does not care about fenton. he is too busy fangirling. bro needs to understand that strength and money cannot fix all of one's problems#can you tell micro-management is my favorite episode#could be written as pre-slash or enemies to lovers#danny phantom#dandash#teddy ghost#swagger bishie#dp fic#fic idea#fanfiction
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More Jason and Cass thoughts (sorry but also not sorry) but if I was magically given full control over DC and could write what I'd want obviously I'd make Cass Batman but I've been thinking of what sort of reaction and role Jason would have in response. I think I'd write his version of "Congrats on the new job!" as a test, involving the Joker and civilians and gangs and Red Hood and a ton of explosives. Bruce failed me, and now he's given up. You're his successor, let's see how you handle this dilemma that freaked him out so badly he threw a batarang into my throat rather than let me avenge my own death in front of him.
So obviously Cass will overcome the traps and the puzzles. That's the fun part to show how competent both of them are and sprinkle in little character moments as we go. But then we reach the emotional crux of the matter, probably laid out as some sort of saw trap because it's Jason. Here I am, a victim of murder. You say nobody dies tonight but I did, and I want the man who did it dead. Not only did Batman fail to avenge me but he failed to stop the Joker from going on to create even more victims. What right do you have to stop me from getting justice for myself? What right does this man have to life after what he's taken from me and from countless others? I'm not trying to kill a random stranger, I'm specifically demanding justice for my own death that I never got while I was gone.
There are two ways this could go. The straightforward route if I knew my time on this run was limited would probably be a pyrrhic victory like the ones Cass's og series was so fond of. Just like Bruce in utrh, she acts on instinct and saves the Joker (and Jason this time) . A win technically, but she fails the test. Jason is once again vindicated but with nothing to show for it. The story ends with Cass sending the Joker back to jail and going back to the batcave, where the old Robin costume looms judgementally, highlighting her failure. It would be the most fitting end given their character molds, all tragedy and conviction and unstoppable force meets immovable object etc.
However... I think the option I prefer would be a little different. Cass levelling with Jason, a killer talking to a murder victim. She has no right to stop Jason from getting justice, she has no love for the Joker but she knows any death she allows to happen like this would devastate her, just like that death row inmate long ago she tried to break out but ended up letting go once the family of the victim talked to her and demanded justice. I think... In this specific situation, she'd just be honest. Morally she has no right sure. Personally she just really really doesn't want anyone to die. Give her one chance, please. Let her try it her way. Not demanding, not lecturing or insisting, just... Please. Don't do this. Let me try another way.
And then what? Jason asks.
In the end a deal is struck. Cass will take the Joker and lock him up, ensuring he never harms anyone again while also trying to rehabilitate him. But the second she fails and he gets free, Jason kills him and she won't stand in his way. It's the kind of deal that leaves both of them mildly disgusted and dissatisfied with themselves, neither of them naturally creatures of compromise when it comes to this specific topic. But Cass is willing to do anything to avoid death and Jason did not expect the new Bat to be so... Flexible? Kind of? Of course maybe she won't actually hold up her end of the deal and when the Joker gets loose she'll try and stop Jason from killing him and he'll get his miserable vindication, but right now this is something strange and new and he's mildly confused and curious about where it will go. He doesn't believe in her ability to contain the Joker forever but he's willing to let her try because her reaction to that future failure interests him. She's given him a sword of damocles to hang above her head and he didn't ask for it or expect it. It's the type of power he never thought the Bat would just... Hand to him.
The conflict ends with neither of them fully winning or losing. They both don't really know what to feel about this.
The thing is, the second Cass let's Jason kill the Joker she's hanging up the mantle. She's staking the Bat on this, because it's always go big or go home with her when it comes to saving others, even someone like the Joker. In this magical universe where I have unlimited power, Cass would lock the Joker in a secret bunker and have Leslie Thompkins talk to him daily, mostly because I think her pacifism speeches and debates in the comics would make a fun contrast to the Joker's evil sadism. (But what about his rights? Doesn't he deserve a trial and to be held in a regular prison? I'm going to be honest I think Cass would be very comfortable bending the rules on this specific situation. Morally questionable but I'd have fun with it. She's going to let Leslie treat Joker like her personal pet project to save his soul because yes she wants him to change but also she's got a city to save every night so go crazy Leslie, have fun.)
And the Batman series would continue with Cass as the lead, new challenges and new antagonists and every twenty issues or so for the first hundred we'll cut back to the Joker briefly if his chats with Leslie can help highlight some thematic element of the current arc. But bit by bit he'd slowly fade away onto oblivion, maybe getting referenced every hundred issues or so until eventually no one remembers or cares about him because there's so much else going on. Meanwhile Jason's got a good thing going as Red Hood, primarily based in Park Row and a tentative ally on the occasion when their vigilante work aligns. Unlike Joker he's a much more frequent character in the comics, and after say 10 years (this is my magical fantasy universe Cass's batman run is going to last for a very long time alright) when people think of DC characters they think of Red Hood long before they think of the Joker.
Is any of this realistic? Right now of course not. It's why I'd go with the pyrrhic victory if I actually got the chance, because it would be the best way to tell the story in the larger context of the Bat narrative. But it's my fantasy DC editor and writer daydream and I'm going to dream big. They're never going to be normal happy siblings, their personal demons will never fully let them be free and the looming possibility of losing everything they currently have narrative wise if Bruce comes back as Batman will always be there. But it's maybe the closest to peace they'll ever get. Unsatisfying and tame compromise that probably violates several laws and ethical codes but whatever. Cass has never read the Geneva convention and Jason's not going to shed tears over the Joker. Let him die relevancy wise if not physically.
#dc#cassandra cain#batfam#dc rambles#Jason Todd#In terms of the larger meta narrative ultimately whether the Joker dies or gets locked up is irrelevant#But Cass will never be willing to just let someone die without trying to the very end to make her case for their life#And I think it's entirely possible Jason would reject her proposal and we're back to square one#But I think the two main reasons to me that he'd accept is one. Cass betting her career on this. She doesn't need to do that.#She could save the Joker and fail Jason's personal test and that would be that. Her actually reaching out#Being willing to risk something precious just to try and compromise with Jason. It would be more than he expected#From a family that he understandably believes he does not matter enough to#And secondly is the long term consequence of the Joker fading into irrelevancy while Jason maintains his prominence as a character#A reverse of his death where he was turned into nothing but a footnote and a memorial for Batman angst#While the Joker went on to gain even more narrative power as Batman's Greatest Enemy#Now he is nothing. And Jason is alive and a solid part of the mythos#It would take time obviously but ultimately from a Doylist sense to me it's the most satisfying resolution#Maybe after like 10 years Cass can die again briefly the Joker gets out and Jason gets to kill him to give Maps some fun Robin angst#But ultimately it's very important to me that if Cass becomes batman the Joker must become irrelevant#He's just not useful enough thematically to be worth his current narrative weight when she's running the show
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Different standards
#didnt mean to do this one in quote unquote colour but it wasnt legible without it so. heres a treat i suppose#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat fanart#isat loop#isat bonnie#lucabyteart#coughs up a lung. anyway. ramble time as per usual. this is what i was warming up for btw in case it wasnt obvious#besides being another entry in the 'letting bonnie read loop for filth on accident' series. this is mostly self indulgent musings on#headcanons (and i will just use that word here.) ive previously rambled about in other tags and posts#namely: in the scenario that loop integrates into the party as a New Person for quite a while before The Truth Come Out. i feel they have#a decent chance at really scoring a slam dunk in becoming a guardian figure for bonnie? loop's demeanor is already colder and a tiny#bit more level-headed than siffrin's in the way they seem to discuss bonnie with them. namely pointing out that bonnie#never really hated them. it seems to be one thing they're genuinely at peace with? they've seen by now the truth that bonnie#was just scared and upset. and likely now knows that what bonnie wants is to be treated with grown-up respect within reason. plus loop#already scores bonus points with bonnie since they didnt 1. fuck up bad like sif did in act 5 and 2. saved sif in the party's eyes#... but then when it turns out that this clean-slate relationship with a stranger was siffrin being deceitful? must have been odd.#bonnie seems to really dislike being lied to. the question is whether they'd see it that way? would they feel betrayed there?#anyway. this is set after all those emotions are at least settled some. loop able to be more physically affectionate... and yet#still not letting themselves be quite as close as they'd like perhaps. perhaps...#anyway translucent pyjamas because i dont care if you're comforting a crying child you've GOT to SERVE!!!#and also i feel like the party probably wouldn't let loop stay completely naked for that long. especially not post-reveal anyway
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I don't know what this is all I know is that LimL Joel makes me really emotional
#I know he has a tendency to go deranged on his red lives but idk something about him beginning to lose it after Jimmy died and killing Grian#joel smallishbeans#smallishbeans fanart#trafficblr#Again its his red life shenanigans but... If only Jimmy had known how affected someone was by his death. I'm choosing to believe this#and him then going out like a sad pathetic wet cat even with Grian's sacrifice... He really deserves a win one of these days lmao please#Also I cant stop thinking about how Jimmy wouldn't have left him. Grian was sensible to and most players probs would have#Joel really does become a lost cause so its fair and Grian did still care (and went to say goodbye as well as sacrifice his time for him)#But Jimmy would have stuck by even if Joel were in this state (and they'd both get themselves killed pathetically but)#And Joel having shown such genuine care for Jimmy and concern over his limited time... man anything w Jimmy makes me so emotional lol#I love them so#oh Ig about the art itself. I dont like it but hey thats how it tends to go when you try smth new. And no shame in trying#but if one person likes this then yayy I will still feel accomplished and happy#Im looking at this again and hey its not that bad actually yay I love to approve of my own art. self love hell yea#tubby art
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appearance wise, at least
#i'm just finding random reason to draw more of them#twst#twisted wonderland#treyjade#trey clover#jade leech#fanart#in one japanese fanart scenario trey started their relationship because of his attraction to jade's appearance which jade wouldn't mind#because knowing jade he actually likes that part of trey that is heartless & is not attached to feelings#in other scenario which also shared the same bit with this one; they started as / become friends with benefits#some ended up with jade actually wanting more while threading carefully bcs knowing trey he might not want more#some with jade and trey attached but would willingly detached anytime as they would not go as far as sacrificing themselves for each other#some scenarios aches me to some degree#but it closely created along with their actual personality & gives their dynamic colorful variety of choices#other than the sweet domestic ones#i love treyjade nevertheless ! ♡︎
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my gendered experience growing up as an intersex person was overwhelmingly defined by my responses and resistance to everything that got me labeled as a failure: failure to quickly get a gender assigned at birth, failure to go through a normal puberty and grow up into a woman, failure at meeting the standards for "complete womanhood" because of my intersex sex traits, and yet simultaneously failing to ever be acknowledged as a "real man" and being treated as a threat when I expressed I wanted to transition.
before i realized i was a man and came out as trans, the ways that girlhood was denied to me was very often humiliating and painful. locker rooms filled with other girls were a frequent source of shame. there were many big and small ways that i was told that my intersex body made me insufficient, incomplete, broken. i was forced onto estrogen, forced into shaving my body hair, and was constantly being told to change myself to better fit this mystical idea of a "normal woman." and even though I ultimately ended up becoming a man, the denial of girlhood was painful.
but i think that these things would have been even more difficult to navigate as an intersex girl if on top of everything I already said, i was having to cope with the denial of my girlhood while i was forced into boys locker rooms. if my doctors were forcing me onto testosterone hrt and refusing to even discuss estrogen, if all my legal paperwork had "M" on it and was a logistical nightmare to change, if every support group for my intersex variation labeled it as a "men's support group," if the LGBTQ community spaces i tried to join were misogynistic towards me often to the point of exile, if my self determination as an intersex girl was denied in most spaces of my life, and on and on and on. while listing all these things out i also don't want to make it seem like it's all about suffering and pain--so much of transition for me has been about joy in my self determination and how much it feels like a reclamation of autonomy to decide what I want my body and self to be like--i know this is an experience i share with so many of my trans intersex friends.
as an person who was AFAB, although there were many ways that trying to grow up as an intersex girl were a painful, logistical nightmare, many times and places that i was excluded from woman's spaces, etc. however, there was a simultaneous affirmation that i was right to strive for that in the first place. which is logic rooted in some fucked up compulsory dyadism, but also which would have made some things slightly easier or even possible at all if i had wanted to embrace being an intersex girl within this fucked up system.
pretty much every time i've seen people on tumblr talking about "afab transfems" in an intersex context, people seem happy to collapse these experiences and act like there's no meaningful distinction or point in distinguishing between different types of intersex embodiment. it seems incredibly extractive, to be perfectly honest with you--taking terms already used by a community to make meaning of their experiences and to expand and dilute that term enough that it means something pretty different than the original.
it's making me think about the concept of epistemic injustice, which is a term coined by Miranda Fricker to describe oppression related to knowledge, communication, and making meaning of the world. There's two subtypes of epistemic injustice: testimonial injustice and hermeneutical injustice. Testimonial injustice refers to the dynamic where marginalized people are labeled as not credible, excluded from conversations, and their testimony and knowledge is labeled as unreliable, even when they're the ones who are experts and have first hand experience of what people are talking about. (this is why i probably won't make this post rebloggable--i've noticed this pattern on tumblr many times where trans men speaking about transmisogyny get lots of notes and are given a lot of grace, where trans women are silenced, attacked for not having perfect wording, and otherwise delegitimized.)
the second type is called hermeneutical injustice. it describes how marginalized people are denied the right to make sense of the experiences in their own lives. this can look like preventing people from building community, terminology, a political understanding of themselves, and the interpretive resources needed to process how you live in the world.
this is a form of injustice that I think almost all intersex people are very familiar with--we are denied community and interpretive resources to the point that we're told we don't even exist, that intersex isn't a real word, and so many more examples that leave us isolated and with very few options for understanding what we're collectively experiencing. as an intersex person i really intimately understand how frustrating, confusing, and painful it is to not have words for your experiences, your identity, your life.
so it makes me really sad and pissed off when it seems like intersex people seem to be replicating this exact same type of epistemic injustice towards transfems and specifically towards intersex transfems. pretty much every time recently i see people talking about "afab transfems" they're doing so in a way that seems to deny that trans women even have the right to make sense of their own experiences in the world. there seems to be this mindset that these political frameworks, these interpretive resources that transfems have built up are just up for grabs for anyone. and then on top of that has come with it a lot of cruel, hateful language and direct attacks towards many intersex transfems who are facing so much harassment right now.
an important value to me is this idea of reciprocity as a foundation for solidarity. to me reciprocity means that we're prioritizing the ways we care for each other, we're thinking about how we can uplift each other, and we're watching out for extractive or exploitative patterns where one group is constantly expected to be in "solidarity" with another group without getting the same respect and care back toward them. i think that there could be so many ways that intersex people of all genders could share our overlapping experiences and actually be in true, meaningful solidarity with each other, but i barely ever actually see that happen on tumblr. and that pisses me off, because i do think that there's so much we have in common that we could celebrate and support each other with. i feel so much kinship with so, so many of my trans intersex friends, and ways where i see our lives converge. but i don't think that can happen in an environment where there's no acknowledgment of the ways that our experiences will sometimes (often) differ from each other, and the ways that we have unique needs.
another frustration i've had based on this most recent couple months of transmisogynistic intersex posting on tumblr is how intersex people have been mostly ignoring intersex community resources and devaluing the existing intersex terminology that people created to try to meet our needs. so much of what i've seen people describing on tumblr seems to really line up with the term ipsogender. Ipsogender is a term coined by an intersex sociologist Cary Gabriel Costello, and is used to describe intersex people whose gender matches the gender they were medically assigned at birth, but who might not feel like cis or trans fits them, might experience dysphoria, and who might feel like they've ended up transitioning medically or socially in some ways. this is a word that exists that an intersex person put time into coining because they wanted other intersex people to feel seen, embraced, and have ways of understanding themselves and communicating to others, and that's something that's super meaningful to me! and yet, i've rarely seen anyone reference it, and also seen multiple people making fun of it in other spaces online.
there's also intergender, which is another intersex specific gender term used to describe when your gender is inseparable from your intersex traits, and that your intersex identity is intertwined with your gender identity in some way. some people just identify as intergender, others use it as an adjective and exist as an intergender man or woman. intersex terminology like this is really important to me, especially because we're so often denied the right to make sense of our own experiences.
i think ultimately what i wanted to say with this post is just that when i think about intersex community, some of the most important values of intersex community for me are solidarity, care for each other, and affirming our right to define our own existence. and i don't think that can happen in a community where people are acting in extractive ways, harassing and attacking their fellow community members, and being dismissive of the realities of other intersex people's lives.
#personal#actuallyintersex#intersex#actually intersex#transmisogyny tw#this post is not going to be rebloggable for now but if any intersex mutuals want to reblog it i might turn reblogs on#this just feels like an intersex conversation in a way i would prefer not to do with an audience of spectators.#also a tangent: i do understand that agab is not a body descriptor. i think that agabs are a form of curative violence perpetuated onto us#this is something i've been consistent about expressing for years. if you go back to old posts you'll see that there's many times i've said#over the years that agab is messy. that i know people who were assigned one gender at birth and another gender as a toddler#who identify as cis and trans and a million other things. i understand that and im not interested in denying their existence#so. don't take this as a universal statement from me about every single instance of “amab transman” or “afab transfem.” but rather in the#context of the current dynamic i'm seeing on tumblr of widespread transmisogynistic harassment#that i think much of the way people are talking about this is exploitative and harmful#also i've made many posts before talking about how like. many things would change and become intelligble in a less compulsorly dyadic world#but we aren't there yet. and so there are many terms that are still meaningful and relevant for us right now#and as always: i am one intersex person with one perspective i like to hear from other intersex people including intersex people#who think differently from me
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